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I have been on the struggle bus with my 2 year old lately. He's so BUSY and needy. Not being bad, just being a normal 2 year old. He chatters all day long and asks me a bazillion questions and wants me to play with him all day every day! As an introverted person this is SO beyond draining to me!
I can't complain about the stay at home mom life. I realize the gift that it is to be able to be home with him, but at some point I just need a break. Breaks don't come easy, they take planning and someone else to be with my son, and some explaining to whoever has him before I go etc. But I HAVE to make that time, because I can tell when I'm pouring from an empty cup.
I get grumpy easily and short with my son etc. My husband asked him if he liked to play with mommy a few days ago and he answered, "No, mommy's grumpy." OUCH! That was a wake up call to me to change some things in my life.
I had ate like crap this week... pizza, cookies, pastas just ugh! I felt just heavy and tired and my soul was also heavy and tired. I've been doing a study called Truth Over Lies from Love God Greatly (I'll link their blog at the bottom of this post because they are an amazing organization!) But I just felt I wasn't giving it the time that I wanted to. I wrote out the verses quickly and skimmed stuff, but I wanted time to internalize/memorize/wrestle with the scriptures.
I sometimes miss my life as a single person because I had all the time in the world to be with God. I could sit and read and write all the time and just be in his presence. So if you're single right now CHERISH the season! Because I LOVE my husband and son don't get me wrong I am so beyond thankful for them, but the alone time with God that I had in my singleness I will never get back (well maybe once my son moves out haha). But still :)
My husband came home tonight and I just asked if I could go get a salad. He said yes go to Panera take all the time you need. He did bath time with our son for me, and a really sweet surprise when I got home as well which I'll share at the bottom too :)
I left and blared MY music in the van on the way there, not the toddler worship CD that I had been playing lately. Then I sat and ate in the QUIET! being REFRESHED by the salad, fruit, cheese and turkey. SO SO yummy! My body needed a refreshment and so did my soul! I did my devotion earlier that day with "help" from my son; which is really sweet because he gets out his toddler Bible and colors while I write, but I'm not completely focused. And there was a toddler show on in the background, just all the noise.
The point of this story is that we need to MAKE TIME for God. Quiet and stillness and memorization don't just magically happen. Sometimes we need to go away on purpose just to spend time with God. I'm so thankful I got to do that tonight. I came back refreshed and ready to play with my son before bed, and was able to really dive into my study! I challenge you to make the time to REFRESH this week whatever that looks like for you.
"for I will refresh the weary soul and replenish all who are weak.”- Jeremiah 31:25
https://lovegodgreatly.com/ (check out Love God Greatly for wonderful women's Bible studies)
*The sweet "gift" my husband and son did for me. This was extra special to me because I home school, so I don't get all the mother's day crafts etc that other kids make at daycare/school. So for Mother's and Father's Day this year I did little survey's for the grandparent's and my husband and asked my son little questions about them. So while I was gone tonight my husband did one for me and emailed it to me! BEST GIFT EVER!!!
Mom cooks the best... "Chicken & Macaroni and cheese"
My Mom helps me... "Play."
Unprompted: "Mommy is a good talker!"
I like that mommy lets me... "make pictures by myself. But not cutting i dont like to do I don't ever want to do cutting by myself i need help cutting."
Mommy likes to... "use her computer by herself and i like to sit with her"
I liked it when mommy... "took me to the jumping place"
What is mommy's favorite color? "Pink her favorite color is"
What color is mommys hair? "Black"
Is mommys hair long or short? "Long it is"