Don't let Satan steal your friends

God has been placing friendship on my heart lately.

I have a small group of friends that I tossed in a face book group when I was getting ready to move last year. We had done a few events at my house together and I wanted to keep in contact with all of them after the move. When the group started most of them only knew me, now they are starting to become friends with each other.

I could respond to this friendship one of two ways. I could get jealous and think, well now they don't need me because they have each other. Oh no "Suzie" went to "Sally's" house without me. Did they talk about me? What if they start becoming better friends than they are with me? 3 of these ladies got together without the rest of the group! Do they like each other better than us?

Or I could respond with a Christ-like perspective. We are not meant to do this life alone. Especially motherhood that becomes very isolating when you are working around: naps, school schedules, sick children, sports practices and games, or just the fact that my kid didn't sleep last night and we're both too tired to go out today.

I can CELEBRATE these new friendships. Those 3 ladies that went out without the rest of the group were able to bypass all the annoyances mentioned above and actually got themselves and their children dressed and out of the house. They were able to get some adult conversation and let their children practice sharing and cultivating friendships instead of being stuck in the house all day.

I could choose to be upset by these new friendships, but that's exactly what Satan wants. He wants us isolated and alone so that he can harden our hearts. So by planting seeds of jealousy, loneliness, anger, doubts in our minds he wants to tear apart the beautiful friendships God is trying to create in this group of women.

I have 3 ladies that I consider my best friends. One was my college room mate who now lives states away so we don't see each other often, the other two are moms in the area who are in the mom group I mentioned. Honestly growing up I never got along with girls and most of my friends were guys because girls are so dramatic, possessive, catty and cliquey! So how God blessed me with these 3 women who I have been able to stay close to over the years I have no idea. But I am SO thankful for each lady and the unique relationship we each have.

Our friendships are each unique and have lasted through life changes, marriage, children, moving etc etc. Close friendships are alot like marriages! They take WORK. They take making the time for that phone call. They take grace. They take rescheduling the same play date over and over because someone was sick. They take forgiveness. I didn't necessarily seek out these women and think you're an awesome human I'm going to name you my best friend. At different times in my life each of these women has went above and beyond when I needed them most, and each friend provided something different I needed in my life at that time. While I refer to these ladies as my best friends I can't lay claim to them. I know my friend who lives out of state has close friends there. I know she tells them things she doesn't tell me. Why get jealous of that. My friends that live here have talked about moving states away at different points in life, while it would break my heart to see that happen I have no claim on them. If God moves them and they listen to that calling then why can't we still be friends?

Sometimes these ladies hang out with other friends and I am not invited. GREAT! Again I could respond with jealousy and think, "oh no she's not my best friend anymore because she hung out with someone else". Lies-Satan's lies! Maybe that other friend had available time I didn't have, maybe that other friend had words to say to help my best friend through something that I did not have. Maybe their kids are great friends and love to hang out together. Should I be angry and jealous about that NO!

Satan would love nothing more than for me to sit and stew on those feelings of being left out and jealous. He would love nothing more than to see a Godly friendship crumble because of lies he has placed there. And the closer you get to a friend the more Satan will try to pull you apart.

But who gets hurt in the process. ME! If I choose to decide to get jealous and angry I lose that friend, I am then alone again. The best thing is to talk through these feelings with your friend, and if she's a godly friend it will grow the two of you closer in the long run!

This happens a lot in Bible study/small group settings also. Everything goes great for a few weeks, then someone shares something personal to one person and the group finds out and gets jealous. WHO CARES! really, how juvenile and selfish it is to get mad for someone sharing something personal with only one or two people in a larger group. God puts people in our lives on purpose for a purpose. So look at your small groups in light of God's love and not in light of jealously and self-serving. Not everyone can solve everyone's problems. Not everyone will feel comfortable sharing with everyone else and that is OK. Don't let Satan tear apart a Godly group of friends over petty things.

Another thing that commonly happens in smaller group settings especially women's groups is prayer and gossip. Telling someone you will pray for them is one thing, but "prayer" turns to gossip quickly if said in the wrong context or with the wrong motive behind it. So and so asked for prayer for their marriage in small group. It turns to gossip when small group talks about this person behind their backs, tries to make the issue more than it is by speculating why they asked for prayer. Oh maybe he's cheating, maybe he's working too much etc. Pretty soon someone is confronting this husband for cheating! Words spread quickly. Saying "I'm telling you this in secret, please pray for this person I think he's cheating". Is GOSSIP! Don't let Satan creep into your prayer life for your friends by letting sneakiness and gossip get a foothold. Pray for the issue, God knows why and leave it at that. If you have questions beyond that ask the person directly. If she doesn't want to share, she doesn't want to share.

I recently attended a women's event for various churches. The message (notes pictured above) was so great, talking about how we have friendships but we also have the greater calling of being WOMEN OF GOD. We all may attend different churches, we all may have different friendships, we all may be different ages and skin colors and sizes and shapes. But we are called to LOVE, we are called to help each other up when a woman is feeling down. Not because they are part of our church or because they are our best friend but because they are another SISTER IN CHRIST.

What if we stopped looking at our friendships for what we can get out of the relationship. What if we just were thankful for the people God placed in our lives at different times and just LOVED THEM looking for nothing in return. What if we realized we can't be all things to everyone and CELEBRATED when our friends had more friends and hung out as a group instead of getting jealous and pulling away.

Every season of our lives brings new people in it, and sometimes relationships fail and need to be put on pause or stopped even. But even if we are not friends right now that person is still another SISTER IN CHRIST and the friendship issues should be laid down for the sake of Christ.

I will never forget this. A friend of mine was being talked about and ignored in public and being called names and being just treated so rudely but a former group of friends. I asked her how it was going one day and she just simply asked "please pray for her, please pray for them." Satan has a foothold in their life, I know something is going on that's bigger than our petty "fight".

What if we all had that attitude! I told her that day, "THIS is why I'm your friend. Someone blatantly ignores you and is rude to you in public and your reponse is not revenge, is not anger, your reponse is PRAY FOR THEM" That's exactly the person I want to call friend.

Let's stop being petty and start being the real godly women and friends God calls us to be.