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Let me start this off by saying, I grew up with Santa. This is not a post bashing those who choose to do Santa, or saying that I regret my childhood and am somehow "damaged" because my parents did Santa with me. I assure you, I'm fine. Santa was fun. Gifts are fun. My family still plans to have fun and make Christmas a memorable time for my son.
In our family values truth is one of our highest. I want my son to know that when I tell him something is real, especially that Jesus is real, that he knows I'm being truthful. So we plan to tell him that St. Nicholas, who Santa is modeled after, was a real historical person, just as Jesus was a real historical person. The difference is St. Nicholas died. Jesus is still ALIVE!
I want my son praying to God to ask for help, not talking to a fictitious Santa Claus. I want him to have good behavior because he is "honoring his father and mother" and is growing into a respectful and kind person rather than to get threatened that he better behave or Santa will bring him coal in his stocking. Why would I want to "scare him" into being good.
When he is asked over and over again "What do you want for Christmas" "What do you want Santa to bring you" Or browsing toys and things over and over again it can create a very selfish and "me focused" attitude. It also causes us not to be content and thankful for what we already have but keep striving for the latest and greatest. I don't want to continue to enforce those attitudes in my son.
I want Christmas to focus on others and giving of our time and creating special crafts and things for people rather than buying a bunch of "stuff". That's what St. Nicholas did, gave to others in a simple and humble way, and we plan to tell him that also. We also do a Operation Christmas Child box every year and it was really fun to let him help me pack that this year and he even painted a picture for the little boy we sent it to.
We want him to know the real meaning of Christmas. We decorate with several nativity scenes that are kid friendly and that he is allowed to get down and play with. I want the birth of baby Jesus to come alive to him through play so that he remembers it!
I know that children can learn both the biblical truth of Christmas and also have parents who do Santa. I learned it that way and so did my husband, and we both turned out fine. Children are very impressionable little people. They have a hard time distinguishing reality from fiction. Some children hold onto Santa so hard that when they find out he's not real they are crushed! Thankfully it didn't happen for my husband and I but I know it does happen. Then he may think, "but you told me Santa was real and Jesus was real, if Santa isn't real then how do I know Jesus is real?"
As biblical parents we are called to bring up our children in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6).
We are taught to talk about God's truths when we rise and when we go to sleep, to write them on the door frames of our homes (Deuteronomy 6).
In the 10 commandments we are told to have no other god's before our God! (Exodus 20:3-6) (Anything that is worshiped more than God falls into this category, and therefore could include Santa, could include the endless obsessing over the "stuff" they're going to get for Christmas) And it states that the children will be punished for the sins of the parents! Gasp! God is not messing around here. Not that Santa is an outright idol or that your children will be punished by God if you do Santa. It is just a good reminder to me that what we do as parents can set the tone for our children's lives. The traditions we set now will follow them for years. in Exodus 20 it stated that the idolness could follow for generations! I have felt a huge tug in my heart to change the traditions in our home and for the generations after my son.
3 “You shall have no other gods before me.
4 “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below.5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, 6 but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.
Exodus 20:3-6
It's a hard thing to know where our children's hearts really are, and that's what God looks at. We are called to guard our hearts for everything we do flows from our heart! Some translations say for it is the wellspring of life! (Proverbs 4:23) Until my son is old enough to do this for himself it is my and my husband's job to help him guard his heart now. To point him in a direction that will not leave his heart confused and hurt, but point him in a direction of God's truth. And for us as his parents we have decided that includes not doing Santa in our home. As well as various other forms of things we omit such as playing with guns and extremely limiting what types of shows he views.
God calls us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds and to not conform to the patterns of this world. (Romans 12:2) When we stopped and thought about this that means not to conform to the world by doing Santa as the world does. Not getting wrapped up in the materialism of Christmas, but rather to choose to focus or minds and hearts on the true meaning of Christmas.
1 Corinthians 10:23 states "Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible but not everything is edifying."
Edifying means- providing moral or intellectual instruction. Instructive or informative in a way that improves the mind or character.
So while Santa may be ok and permissible for us to do, we have decided not to do it because to us it is not edifying for our son's mind and character.
"But you're crushing his imagination!" "But you're taking the fun out of Christmas!"
Here's what we're doing instead :)
We are doing Shepherd's Treasure. It's just like a live action advent calendar! A fun count down to Christmas! Each day my son wakes up and has to go find the shepherd hiding in lots of fun places around our apartment! (Also parents I LOVED this set because it comes with activity cards to tell you what to do so you don't have to sit and think up ideas on your own! Such a time saver. Also comes with blank cards if you do want to make up your own adventures) Then there is an activity to do with the shepherd each day leading up to Christmas. Make cookies, color a card for someone, pack a box to donate to a shelter, make a Christmas ornament etc etc. The shepherd also brings my son little gifts and a part of the Christmas story each day as well. We did this last year and he LOVED it!
This is what he woke up to Christmas morning last year. His shepherd had found Baby Jesus! And I just loved how beautiful the little Baby Jesus looked! We decided to give 3 gifts to him on Christmas. Focusing on open ended type toys and books mostly. Jesus got 3 gifts from the wise men, so we decided that was a good number to go with. We recently have been moving to a more minimalist lifestyle so this helps us keep ourselves in check when purchasing gifts with the limit 3 rule.
As far as gifts he gets elsewhere we have asked family and friends to try to be a bit more intentional on what they purchase. Also as much as possible try to do experience related gifts such as zoo and science central memberships, going out to eat with him instead. My sister got him a ticket to Paw Patrol Live (as you can see from the photo he's a big fan). And also getting less things in general.
It's a very touchy subject to try to re-direct something that has been going on for generations. There won't be an overnight change. It may take years and lots of discussion to curb the thoughts of those around you. Materialism and overspending and things of that nature are things that run deep. I know first hand I struggle with it myself and am trying to help myself as well as trying to help my son not to have to go through all I have. All I can say is be kind, be open and honest. Don't let an issue of Santa destroy family relationships. The whole point is to move more toward a more Christ-centered Christmas and that won't happen if family members are at odds for sure. Your family relationships are more important than the decision to do Santa or not.
We have involved our family from the start on this decision. We sat down with both sides and talked through our reasoning. I made sure my brother knew that just because we were choosing this for our son didn't mean that we would let him spoil it for my niece if they chose to still do Santa. We will tell my son to not spoil it for others. That if someone asks him if Santa is real he can respond that St. Nick was real and that Jesus is real and then have the kid ask their parents for more clarification. If my niece were to ask me or my husband we'd tell her the same thing. Not our place to ruin it for her if they were to choose to do it. My son will be home schooled so it's not like he'll be running around the school telling everyone there's no Santa and crushing dreams. At some point everyone finds out there's no Santa. I guess we're just speeding up the process by not doing it.
I will tell you my son has a HUGE imagination and LOVES to play pretend, to dress up. His creativity and imagination is in no way compromised by not doing Santa. Another tradition we do is on Christmas Eve we go to church and then come home and make an angel food cake. (a tradition from my husband's side which I was more than happy to take on, even borrowed the cake pan from my inlaws haha!) Then we have a little birthday party for Jesus! He helped make the card and make the cake! How much more imagination and creativity could you ask for?
I have had so many people ask me why we have chose this so I decided that instead of telling the same story over and over again I'd write it all out and make it easier to share. I am definitely not saying this is the right way to do things. This is just the way we feel for our family. No matter how you choose to celebrate Santa or no Santa the real point of Christmas is to remember Jesus' birth and be around those you love. I know you'll have a blessed Christmas!
https://www.theshepherdstreasure.com/ (the link to find the Shepherd's Treasure set that we use)
https://www.abcjesuslovesme.com/curriculum/2-year-curriculum/2-year-christmas
(The link for the Jesus birthday coloring page and other fun activities)
https://www.samaritanspurse.org/what-we-do/operation-christmas-child/
(Link for Operation Christmas Child)