They Do Come With a Manual

There's the running joke that children are not born with an instruction manual. Trying to figure out how to raise them, navigate tricky behaviors, and in the long run raise happy healthy adults is viewed as a shot in the dark, and very trying!

I spotted this image while scrolling through Facebook one day and it really stood out to me. We have the greatest instruction manual ever written in raising our kids! God's word, the Bible, and his wisdom should we seek it.

This is definitely not a "this is the fool proof way to raise your kids" post, and not the only way for sure. I am no expert on child rearing and make many many parenting mistakes, as we all do. However, the more I lean into Christ and his teaching the more simplified parenting becomes because I'm teaching my son to have a Godly character and also developing one myself.

Discipline vs Disciple

Discipline- The practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience.

synonyms: control, regulation, direction, order, authority, rule, strictness, a firm hand

Disciple-a personal follower of Jesus during his life

a follower or student of a teacher, or leader

Synonyms: (adherent-hold fast to a set of beliefs, supporter, advocate), believer, admirer, (devotee -supporter, defender, friend), imitates his example

As I look at these two definitions discipline is training people to obey rules and correcting behavior. Words like controlling, and regulating, authority, strict and firm all stick out to me.

Where as looking at a disciple is a much softer term. Training up a disciple focuses on the heart rather than the behavior. Disciplining is coming along side, in a soft gentle manor. Jesus's disciples were his friends, he did life with them and lovingly showed them how to be like him by example, through stories, through just doing life with them daily.

By showing the set of beliefs and core values your family holds dear and curbing the heart of your child to God's character you are creating disciples. Words like holding fast, and admirer, devoted, support, friend, imitating the example all stick out to me from this definition.

In the long run do we want to just correct a bunch of "bad behaviors" or do we want to raise children who are devoted to their family values, who are imitators of those family values and also imitators of Christ. If we crush their spirit and break their heart while trying to correct behaviors we have missed a huge mark in our God-given role as parents.

When I switch my thought process from how can I stop this bad behavior, to how can I talk my child through this trying behavior and mold his character toward Christ I can train him up in a more loving and calm manor. I will never forget watching the father of the children I nannied for correct them quietly. He got down to their eye level, brought them close as if almost a hug, and talked through the situation right next to their ear, rather than yelling and belittling them. He was very firm in his expectations of their behavior which were based from the Bible but also firm in the solid love he had for his children. I had never seen discipline done like that before and it was such an eye opener for me! They still had time outs, they still got privileges taken away, they still had to apologize to their siblings but it was done in such a different manor than I had ever seen before.

That's exactly what God's love does for us. When we mess up and sin against him there are absolutely consequences, but there is no belittling or shaming or condemnation. God's love says I know you'll mess up but I'm here to walk through it with you. I'm here to mold your heart closer to my heart.

What better way to be molded toward God's character than the fruit of the spirit. I have a fruits of the spirit game where I call out a fruit and he goes and jumps on it, and it's also a large memory game. As we were playing this game when he was only two and I was calling out the fruits I was thinking to myself wow, I already use so many of these words with him like be kind, lets have some self control, are you being gentle? As we played that game a light bulb went off in my head that these are the traits I want to instill in him! I'm working on heart change, not just behavior change.

John 15:5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

Galatians 5:22-23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Love

1 Corinthians 1:13

13 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

We hear these "love verses" at almost every wedding, and honestly the best way to raise a healthy child is to come back to these verses, and honor your wedding vows! Children learn to love by how their parents love each other. Children gain a sense of safety and security in the solid marriage of their parents. Love never fails! The greatest of these is love!

One of the first things my husband and I need to do is be on the same page when it comes to teaching our son. He often hears, from dad, "well what did mommy say?" And vise versa. If one parent says no then it's no. That's teaching him that mommy and daddy are a team, that we both have equal say in raising him, that we are united and both want what's best for him. He's also heard, "you will not talk to your daddy that way" and vise versa, and has apologized to us both for disrespectful talk. That again shows respect, that he is to show love and respect to mommy and daddy because they love each other and love me, and daddy's not going to let me disrespect his wife etc.

Love also is shown by the situation with my nanny family above, yes you messed up. Yes you have to sit in time out because of your choices, but we still love you and we're here to help you make a better choice next time.

Say I love you and say it often! Say it to your spouse, your children, extended family. For some reason I love you is becoming some awkward, unsaid phrase in families today. Say it loud and say it proud! We give hugs and kisses and say I love yous before Daddy leaves for work in the morning, before leaving a family members house. We give hugs to our friends and say thank you for playing with me today etc. We give cuddles and say I love you at bedtime. A child that hears I love you from all the important people in his life feels content, safe, accepted, appreciated. When that solid foundation of love is there they act out less.

I made up a goofy little song when I was nursing to the tune of Fera Jaqua and sing it to my son "Mommy loves you mommy loves you, yes I do, mommy really loves you yes I do." (then insert Jesus, Daddy, Grandma, etc etc) He gets all embarrassed about it now when I sing it, but it's that kind of stuff that fills up kid's hearts.

I've found when I validate and give words to my son's feelings it shows I love him. I often say, "Are you feeling disappointed? It's ok to cry when we're disappointed, but you can't hit me (or throw a toy or whatever it was)" "Since you chose to hit you have to sit in time out." When I give him permission to feel what he's feeling, but still give a consequence that is showing love. It's teaching him to give a word to those feelings and to learn how to correctly express them.

Every time I hear "stop crying" or "why are you crying" it makes my heart ache! We can't just command a child not to cry without loving them through the emotion and giving them an example of a healthy way to handle that emotion.

My best friend says all the time "that's not how we show love" in correcting her children and I LOVE that! Instead of "don't hit your brother", it's "that's not how we show love to your brother". There was a consequence for the hitting and then the boys would hug and she'd walk them through "I'm sorry, and I forgive you, I love you Bubba." And now that the kids are older she asks them to tell her how to show love! Instead of just correcting the behavior of no hitting she's changing their hearts to have love and compassion for others.

That's my goal, to have a foundation of love in our home of a solid Godly marriage. To show my son that it's ok to cry, ok to have feelings, ok to mess up and we're right here loving you through it. To grow in him a heart of compassion and love for others and not just correct bad behaviors, but to have him care about the feelings and the heart of the other person.

Joy

Joy and happiness are not the same thing. Happiness is based on feelings and circumstances. Joy is the never ending feeling of contentment, acceptance and peace that we can find in Christ. Joy is a choice we make usually daily to get up with a smile on our face and do our best each day.

Do I want my son happy, absolutely! But I will not give into every little whim and want to keep him that way. It's not my job to keep him happy, it's my job to help him learn how to choose joy in hard circumstances.

I always tell him he has a choice. Sometimes it's as simple as do you want the blue or red shirt today. Other times it's if you choose to not finish your dinner then you also choose not getting a snack tonight, are you ok with that?

God gave us free will to choose to first of all believe in him and follow him. We have the choice over who we marry, where we apply to work, who our friends are, and we choose our attitude every day. There's a sign that hangs next to my bed that says, "Don't let a bad 5 minutes turn into a bad day." That right there is choosing joy!

I want my son even at the age of 3 to know he is in control of the choices he makes, and that his choices have consequences. I want to help teach him to choose the positive things, to choose to have a good attitude even though we can't watch a show right now, or I didn't make his favorite food for dinner.

Ultimately he has the choice to follow Christ. I can raise him in a Christian home, home school him with Christian curriculum, take him to church every Sunday, pray with him, teach him to memorize Bible verses, but he has to choose to follow Jesus I can't do that for him. I hope and pray that through all these good things that he does come to know Jesus as his savoir.

I need to remember to have joy also. Parenting is hard, and exhausting. I can tell that when I'm a grump he feeds off my grumpiness. Not that I can't ever have a bad day, but when I am not joyful my home is not joyful. The best way to be the best mom I can be is to be a happy one! I can deal with him spilling my coffee everywhere on a day he didn't nap because I dig deep into my joy and we clean it up together.

Joy comes from goofing around as a family too! Somewhere between the daily grind and running from place to place families have forgotten to be silly and wrestle and laugh together! We love to play hide and seek in the dark, have tickle fights, play board games, build with legos! All of these get smiles on our faces and joy in our hearts by spending time as a family!

Romans 15:13

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Peace

Peace is defined as a state of tranquility or quiet, security and order. Harmony in personal relationships.

My childhood home was far from peaceful. I still shudder and clam up anytime someone yells at me, or honestly even raises their voice a little bit, because that is what I grew up with. God knew what he was doing when he gave me my husband because some how along the way he learned that the way to work through strong emotions is with peace. At the beginning of our marriage I yelled, and slammed doors because that was all I knew. He came to me calmly and said lets talk.

When my son came along we both realized that getting down to his eye level, pulling him up on our laps to have a serious chat worked far better than yelling and demeaning him. Do we get overly frustrated with him? Absolutely, and we put him in time out in his room and we all chill out so we can have a calm conversation.

When he was very small I would ask him, "Why are you in time out?" And often he didn't even know why, so we'd talk it through. Now that he's 3 he often knows why and the process gets easier because of the consistency we built up when he was small.

Peace comes in our home by my husband first establishing that in his own life. It takes one person to stop a yelling match, and then the yeller realizes how goofy they sound as someone is standing there talking calmly to them. My husband showed me how to have an intense feeling with a calm conversation. He established that first in our marriage, and now with how we correct our son. It's not always easy but it's a choice we make daily to be calm with each other.

Another way we've promoted peace in our home is with routines. My son has quiet time pretty much every day, he doesn't sleep every time, but he gets a break from the busy and gets adequate rest. We unashamedly leave events early, or don't attend an event that would occur during his quiet time.

His bedtime routine is important to him too. He gets a bath and books etc etc. Having this routine as an absolute in his life gives his life rhythm and he sleeps better with a peaceful evening rather than rushing home and tossing him into bed quickly. Rest and rejuvenation don't magically happen in this day and age, you have to make it a priority and schedule it in. I can definitely tell when my son is overwhelmed and we have to take a step back and find our schedule and the peace comes back. By establishing routines when he is young it will teach him good time management skills as he gets older.

We also are trying to guide him to find God's peace when he's scared. His favorite song right now is God is Bigger than the Boogie Man from Veggie Tales. Even at age 3 we want him to know he's never alone and that God's bigger than all his fears and worries. I remember when I was scared my mother would come in at night and tell me to say "Jesus, give me your peace." And I'd fall asleep repeating that phrase over and over. Now as an adult when I'm scared of big life situations I can repeat that same phrase I learned as a child.

I also want to instill in him to try to "live at peace with everyone." Not to let people walk all over him, but to have a heart that is caring, and to try to see the best in people even if they seem rude or mean.

Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Romans 12:18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

Patience

One of our favorite Music Machine songs is Have Patience. "Have patience, have patience, don't be in such a hurry, when you get impatient you only start to worry. Remember, remember that God is patient too, and think of all the times when other's have to wait for you." It's a song my mom used to sing to me as a child and now I find myself singing it to my son when he's having trouble waiting for something, and as I sing it, it reminds me to have patience with him!

You often hear don't pray for patience because then your's will get tested. God has a funny way of giving us trials to produce the fruit of patience in us. Patience is defined as, the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset. None of that is ever easy. The more we have patience as parents, however, our children will notice it in us and begin to model our behavior. When our child sees us having patience with a spouse or sees us holding off on a big purchase until we can afford it, it teaches them skills they'll later need as adults.

Lately I find myself needing to have patience with my son while he tries everything by himself. Could we have gotten out the door 5 minutes sooner if he would have just let me put his darn shoes on, probably. But maybe as his parent, knowing that he'll most likely want some time to practice getting his shoes on could have us get ready to leave a bit sooner so he can have those couple minutes and encourage him instead of rushing him.

I have to have patience as he says "Mommy, mommy, mommy" 1,000 times a day. Then I realize one day he won't call me mommy anymore. So cherish it now while he does.

It's hard to wait, but it's good for kids to learn to wait. In a world of instant gratification, patience and waiting have gone to the wayside. My son has learned that instead of whining and hanging on me while I cook dinner that he can play, or ask to help with the dinner prep. One of our favorite Daniel Tiger songs says, "When you wait, you can play, sing or imagine anything." and I sing that often to him so he realizes he has some choices when he's waiting.

Teaching kids to have patience in small things like waiting for dinner, or holding off on buying a new toy until their birthday, teach them the foundation of having patience waiting to buy a nice car until they can really afford it, or other big adult decisions.

I also help him think about patience when he is trying to do something hard and he just can't get it. He likes to race through his numbers when counting lately, and I remind him to slow down. He wants to know how to do it right now. I often tell him "This is hard, but I'm going to try my best." And now I catch him repeating it to himself when he's struggling with something. I want that to be a core value in him, to try hard things and give them his best effort. To run his race and finish strong!

He really wants to be five. When he's five he can climb the big rock wall at the YMCA. One of his best buddies is five already so he wants to be big like him. I often tell him that waiting for these, to him, big moments in his life will mean so much more because he had to wait for them. I hope that waiting to turn five to do fun things is a good reminder to help him wait for his wife one day and bigger life things like that. The groundwork we pave when they're young really does set the direction for them later in life.

Colossians 1:11-13 being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, 12 and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light. 13 For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, 14 in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

Kindness

We first think of kindness as being nice, being friendly, sharing a smile. Those are definitely things I want to instill in my son, to be kind to others. People are so grumpy and rushed now a days, a genuine smile goes a long way! As we have play dates, we talk through "Oh your friend is crying, go make sure he's ok." I want to instill genuine empathy for others in his heart.

He often asks me, Mommy lets talk. So I pull him on my lap and ask what he wants to talk about and he often says, "Lets talk about kindness, loveness, and self-control". Such a sweet spirit he already has! We sat and talked the other night about how he was so helpful. Even at 3 years old he was so proud of himself for making things easier for mommy by cleaning up his toys, and helping put his laundry away and helping me dust. I reminded him of how happy it makes people when he colors them pictures and we put them in the mail. The satisfaction on his face was priceless! He was kind to someone and it mattered!

I have a different thought on meal time and put kindness into it. I want him to realize someone, (most often Mommy, but sometimes Grandma or Daddy or even a cook at a restaurant), took the time to prepare you food. It is rude and unkind to sit and whine about the food you were given. It hurts the person's feelings who made the food if you complain about it. If you want to whine you can get down from the table and come back with a thankful and kind attitude. A good majority of the time he comes back and says, "Thank you for making me dinner mommy!" And eats just fine. He doesn't like tomatoes, we don't make him eat them it's fine. You don't have to like all the food you've been given but there are kind ways to express that such as, "No thank you I don't care for tomatoes". Instead of "wahhh I don't want to eat that". I have a feeling there will be a lot of thankful waitresses in my son's future when he graciously says, "No thank you."

Our pastor mentioned kindness recently in light of the crucifixion, and reminded me that kindness is GRACE. God extends kindness to us as he redeems us. Grace is kindness, mercy, love, generously giving. Redemption is our forgiveness of sins, our freedom in Christ. As we continue to mess up in life, God continues to lavish his grace and kindness upon us as he forgives us our sins over and over again. He sent his son to die for us. What more kindness do you need! As I teach my son to show kindness I also teach him of God's love.

I can extend kindness and grace to my son as I quickly forgive him for, most recently, not napping. It's not his fault he's not tired, so instead of becoming angry and grumpy with him I can show him some kindness and talk him through his quiet time options. (this seems trivial but it's just me being honest. Talk about self-control, mama has to use serious self-control in this situation. )

We often think of the things we want our children to grow up to do. Maybe he'll be a computer engineer like his dad, maybe he'll be a fire fighter like his grandpa. Honestly, the dream I have for my son is explained in the picture above. I want him to grow up to be kind. To love God, and to share God's kindness with others. That's my goal for his life.

2 Samuel 2:6 May the LORD now show you kindness and faithfulness, and I too will show you the same favor because you have done this.

1 Kings 3:6 Solomon answered, “You have shown great kindness to your servant, my father David, because he was faithful to you and righteous and upright in heart. You have continued this great kindness to him and have given him a son to sit on his throne this very day.

Hebrews 4:16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Goodness

I don't want my son to merely "be good" as we here parents say, which often is attributed to "behave well". I want him to have a good heart, a heart that is seeking to follow God.

None of us are "good". We have ALL sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

Romans 3:10 there is none righteous not even one.

Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

We find goodness through Jesus Christ. We can't attain that on our own, so why should I place this unattainable "be good" goal on my son when there's no way he can achieve it. He's 3, he's still learning to regulate his behaviors. He's going to be grumpy and loud and not sit still. That's ok. I want the goodness he strives for to be deeper than just learning how to sit quietly as we wait for an appointment at the doctor.

Children don't understand what "be good" means. They need that explained to them. Often daddy will ask if he had a good day today. For him that means did he do his school well (either attending preschool or doing his home-school book with me), how did he eat today? Did he nap? How was his attitude? Those are the things kids understand about being good.

We explain before going somewhere new what his behavior should be. We're going to the library today so to be respectful to the other people we aren't going to run or talk loudly. We're going to church today, you'll go to your class and mommy and daddy will go to our big class. You need to be kind to the other kids in your class. We don't hit or take toys from the other kids. These explanations seem so draining and repetitive but I notice his behavior is so much better when "be good today" is clearly defined instead of just a blanket statement.

I also point out that "bad guys" are just people who have made many wrong choices. I want him to see every person as God's creation and not to cast someone off as a "bad guy" and think himself somehow better than them because he's a "good guy". This is why we emphasize so strongly in our parenting that you always have a choice and that choice has a consequence. The way kid shows portray villains is hard to watch sometimes. Sometimes there is redemption shown, but often it's lets all kill the "bad guy". We're all the "bad guy" without the redemption of Christ. We all deserve hell. I want him to realize that "bad guys" have a soul too and as Christians it's our job to show them Christ.

Galatians 6:9

9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

It is exhausting to parent sometimes. You repeat the same things over and over again, and they just don't get it. Or you have the same melt down over the same situation over and over again. But this verse reminds us not to grow weary in doing good, because as we are faithful in the small things we will have a great harvest (a wonderful God-fearing kiddo) if we do not give up!

Faithfulness

“Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:2-4

I hope my son always keeps his child-like faith. We often hear people say, "From the mouths of babes." Children have a sweet innocence of faith and such huge happy hearts.

There is having faith, which is believing without seeing, and then there is being faithful. Like I mentioned in the love section one of the best things we can do for our children is remain faithful to our spouse.

Colossians 3:9-10 Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.

Another thing I appreciate about my husband is his word is gold. If he says he will be home at 5:30 he'll be home at 5:25 and if he's running behind he'll call me. If he tells our son that tonight when I get home from work we'll play legos you better believe he's in there playing legos after work. I trust my husband's word above all else because he's always been honest and truthful with me. It's a value we want to instill in our son as well.

Other ways to be faithful are being reliable, being on time, keeping your word, and being honest with people. Some common words associated with being faithful are fidelity, loyalty, constancy, devotion, trueness, dedication, commitment, allegiance.

What amazing words and traits to instill in my son! I absolutely hate being late, so by default my son is learning how to make sure we are on time. I want my son to get his first job and know that he has to show up for work on time and be faithful to his boss and team mates at work. A trait being lost among young people in my generation and later unfortunately.

Gentleness

Gentle, sweet, kind boys are seen as weak, wusses, mama's boys. My son still has his sweetness and I'm so thankful. He snuggles with me, he brings me a blanket if I'm tired and kisses me goodnight just like I do for him. He has a soft, gentle personality. I hope he never loses it. There is nothing wrong with a sensitive guy, and I feel like our culture has glorified the "manly man" to the extent that if boys are not macho they're seen as weak.

They are shamed for crying, and having feelings so they just bottle them up and become bitter and "tough". As I mentioned above we are trying as best we can to give my son words for his emotions and let him know it's ok to cry and not stifle that.

Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate (provoke your children to anger) your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Like mentioned above, being gentle in instruction instead of harshness helps curb angry behaviors.

1 Thessalonians 2:11 For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children,12 encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.

Self-Control

Our goal as a parent should be to raise an adult. If I raise a child who has no self-control then I will have an adult without self-control as well. I think we all frustratingly come in contact with these adults every day.

One of the songs from Music Machine says, "Self control is just controlling my-self. It's listening to my heart, and doing what is smart." Kids cannot develop self control if we as adults do not have it in our interactions with them.

Using self control has really helped him realize when he's throwing a tantrum. It's ok to be frustrated or upset but lets have a little bit of self control. I also need to show self control in responding to his outburst. If I come to him calmly and bend down to his level and look him in the eye and keep my emotions in check we'll have a much better conversation. If I don't have self control and lash out at him in my frustration then he will have trouble having self control.

It's also helped him catch himself doing impulse reactions like hitting. I understand you're upset right now but lets use some self control and hit a pillow instead of a person.

From a very small age I tried to give him a heads up for transitions by saying, "ok buddy choose one more thing to do then we have to leave." And now three years later we were at a touch a truck event and he told me, "Mommy I want to see three more trucks then we can leave." And we saw those trucks and we left. My mind was blown by him initiating that!

We've talked about self control in eating as well. We can enjoy sweets and treats but we need to be careful to have self control when eating them. Also to make sure we're eating enough healthy foods. This is one I need to work on myself, so by teaching my son these thoughts it makes me re-think my snack and eating habits in front of him.

We talk about controlling spending as well. He asks for things and we talk about waiting for Christmas or birthdays, and we talk about how Daddy works so we can have money for things, and we need to have some self control in what and how we spend that money. If we can teach this at a young age, to be ok waiting for things you want and saving your money it will help him so much as he matures into adulthood.

Titus 1:8 Rather, he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined.

Wrapping it up

He is a normal three year old. Of course I want him to know not to hit and throw tantrums and to finish his dinner and go to bed on time etc. Those behaviors will come in time, the more I teach him self control the less tantrums he throws. The more I teach him kindness the less he will complain about his dinner and the more I teach him love and patience he'll share and stop hitting etc etc. God has really shown me the fruits of the spirit lately first through the little game I mentioned earlier, then more recently through my son learning songs about them. Then later through a story book about them. I want them to continue to be part of our life as he grows older too. I pray the fruits of the spirit are forever growing in your life as well.

Deuteronomy 11:18-19

18 Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 19 Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

Colossians 3:12-17 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16 Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. 17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

And whatever you do. Do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus. That includes the values we raise up in our kids.

Fruit of the Spirit bundle from The Daily Grace Co. Adult book so I can work on the traits in myself and the children's book to read with my son!

I grew up with this record as a kid and was so excited to find it for my son! Through adorable songs that the music machine plays we learn about all the fruits of the spirit. It makes my heart happy to hear him singing songs like "have patience", and "self control, is just controlling myself". There are several CD's and DVD's that can be found at Christianbook.com