Already Chosen

Photo credits to Chelsea Rittenhouse of GiggleFace photography and KtFlourish

Shirt design by Yours Truly Boutique

I recently attended the most beautiful 30th birthday party ever! My dear friend invited ladies from all walks of life to join her in celebrating, not her, but Jesus Christ! God spoke through me that day and he's been continually telling me that the ladies at the event were not the only ones in need of this message. So I am sharing my thoughts in my blog as well. (This is my favorite photo of speaking at the event, I am fuzzy, in the background. Just perfect because that's how I want to be, it's not my speech, it's God's)

The theme of the event was about being crowned. Knowing that we are ALREADY chosen, and loved by God.

My friend runs a beautiful Facebook group called Flourish My Soul and she did a poll in her group prior to the party and asked, "What’s the biggest lie you believe about yourself?" The responses broke my heart. Overwhelmingly ladies chose “I’m just not skinny enough”, “I’m just not pretty enough”. We are failing as a society when such a huge portion of our women walk around feeling ugly all day.

Satan l​oves that. He wants us stuck in a never-ending battle with ourselves, of feeling not enough and always striving for something more. That’s the answer I chose on the poll. I’m just not strong enough to beat the enemy’s attacks on my life. I said no originally about speaking at the event because I was allowing Satan's lies to crush me. I was like crowned? What would I say about that? But through the last month or so when I opened up my Bible and my heart to what God wanted to say through me I had more material than I knew what to do with!!! Before I dig into this topic more if you have an opportunity come up that might stretch you just say YES! Have faith that if God brings you to it he’ll bring you through it because I could have missed out on so much by not seeking him through this topic!

I was reading through 100 Days to Brave by Annie F. Downs as I was working on this message and Day 6 of the devotional talked about how Eve was the first woman deceived by words in genesis 3:2-4 when Satan twists God's truth and says, "You will not surely die if you eat this fruit." Annie writes,

"Satan is a liar. I know you know that, but I want to say it again, HE IS A LIAR. he wants to define you, label you, and stop you from being brave and doing the work God has for you. When Satan lies to you you swirl that thought in your head... you hear a lie, you treat it like truth, and it beings to define you, like a label and then you act out of that label. It's a vicious cycle that can only be treated by a heaping dose of truth (the Bible)."

A personal example of a lie in my life was an ex-boyfriend of mine told me that going out with me was like dating a mannequin, because I’m a quiet person. I could choose sit on that lie and let it define me like a label thinking I’m a “mannequin” no one is going to like me because I’m so quiet. Or I could refute that lie with God’s truth. God created me on purpose with a purpose. God loves to use a gentle and quiet spirit for his glory!

In the devotional she suggested looking up the story of David and Goliath, which I already had typed up in my message before reading the devo. I saw it as God affirming the direction I was headed with the talk. The story of David reminds us that God uses the most unlikely people, and that he doesn't look at outward appearance but looks at the heart.

1 Samuel 16:7 (ESV) - 7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

Samuel was looking at David’s brothers and assumed the tall, strong fair one would be God’s anointed to be king, but God chose David based on his heart even though he was a quiet musician, the youngest, the one out tending the sheep.

One chapter over in 1 Samuel 17 we read of David defeating Goliath

45 David said to the Philistine (Goliath), “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.

And David defeated Goliath with a little stone and a whole lot of faith!

"And let's not forget our own inner monologue of negativity. Trouble will always brew when you allow your own narrative to speak louder than the whispers of God. But His voice is always there."- Homeschool Bravely

What if David had let his inner thoughts of negativity talk him down? "I’m nobody, but a sheep herder, the youngest who shouldn’t get much inheritance. I’m not a warrior I’m a musician." But instead he said to that giant I’m coming at you in the name of the Lord God Almighty!!! God’s voice is always there when we shut off our own negative thoughts, be still and listen to him.

I’ve been reading through Ephesians with a group of ladies. I mostly focused on the first few chapters for this message, but the entire book is worth reading through.

Ephesians is a letter Paul wrote, most likely while in jail, to the church at Ephesus. The book tells our identity in Christ and how we should live in light of that truth. HIS identity changes our identity!

Our youth pastor spoke in church a few weeks back and said, “The world wants to tell us our identity is whatever WE make it.” But as Christian’s we know we find our identity in Christ. We live differently because we are in him." The words “In Him” appear so many times throughout the book of Ephesians! It’s a great reminder that through salvation we have been united with Christ! Here are some truths about our identity from Ephesians.

Ephesians 1:1-2

1. We are set apart, called before we are born (Paul was called to be an apostle of Christ and so are we!)

2. God can use us no matter what place we find our self (Paul most likely wrote this letter to the Ephesians from jail, he was not a well liked guy but God still used him!)

Ephesians 1:3-14 is a huge run on sentence from Paul (202 words in the original Greek) Just of praise to God! Here are all the “in him” promises we find:

1. We are blessed

2. We were chosen before the foundation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight

3. In love we were predestined for adoption into his sonship

4. We have been given his glorious grace which he has lavished ( to heap, shower or pour on in extravagant quantities) on us!

5. We are given redemption through his blood, forgiveness of our sins

6. He gave us wisdom and understanding so we could understand his will for our lives

7. He has a plan for us and he will unite all things to himself.

8. We have the body of Christ on our side! We aren’t alone!

9. When we believe we are marked in him with a seal as a “deposit” guaranteeing our inheritance (our heavenly crown)!

10. We don’t have to hope for or keep striving to earn our redemption, we already have it because Jesus died for it!

In verses 15-23 We are reminded that the same power that raised Jesus from the dead lives in us once we are saved!

Ephesians 1:18-20 New International Version (NIV)

18 I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, 19 and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength 20 he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms.

Ephesians Ch 2 tells us,

1. We no longer are defined by our sinful nature, and not separated from Christ (sin is to miss the mark and to be separate from Christ.)

2. We are no longer a slave to our flesh, we don’t have to satisfy our souls with temporary pleasures.

3. We are already seated with Christ in the heavenly realms! He has a place prepared for us we don’t have to work to earn it!

4. But we were saved by grace through faith, not by works so we don’t have to strive to earn God’s grace we already have it!

5. We are God’s handiwork Created in Christ to do good works which he prepared in advance for us to do!

The Greek word for handiwork or workmanship refers to an artist making a painting! His name is on us just as a painter signs his work of art! As a child of God we are inseparable form Jesus! We already reign with Christ and will reign with him for all eternity!

6. We are no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male or female in Jesus we are all ONE! We are no longer defined by what the world tells us we are. We are who HE says we are which is chosen, loved and redeemed.

7. We will inherit our new glorified bodies as we become one body with Christ!! We are seated on the throne with Christ! Talk about being crowned! Do you know what we’re going to do with that crown of life? We will lay it at his feet, we will fall down on our faces and worship him because of his great love for us! Our story starts with a crown of thorns and ends with the crown of life!!!

Revelation 4:10-11

"the twenty-four elders fall down before him who is seated on the throne and worship him who lives forever and ever. They cast their crowns before the throne, saying, “Worthy are you, our Lord and God,

to receive glory and honor and power,for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created."

I will share a bit of my struggle for trying to find beauty in places other than Jesus Christ.

It's no secret that having children messes with your body. I gained weight while pregnant then lost it breastfeeding then gained it back after weaning and going through a miscarriage. I have thyroid problems and that was all out of wack. Mentally I just did not care. My hormones were all over the place. My husband was amazing through all that, and just gently reminded me that I'd put on some weight and maybe it would be a good idea to do something about it. I told him that until I cared it was pointless to try to start because if I didn't care then I wouldn't be diligent about any changes.

I recently got a Y membership and even just exercising twice a week has really helped me start feeling like myself again. My husband also recently found he has a dairy allergy so it’s kinda forced me to be a bit more intentional about what we’re eating too. I try to give my son a fruit and veggy at meals.

Call me crazy, but is that enough? For me right now in this season anyway it’s enough. I have never been a dieter, I just kinda eat what’s available and what I like (and now what my husband can have) and I don’t really read labels or worry about any and everything that I eat. I hate meal planning. My son hates the child watch at the Y so for me to get there twice a week is a huge undertaking.

​I know some people do the diets and rock it and that’s OK that’s just not where I’m at. I have fully embraced the yoga pants and pull on jeans. I’ve passed all my size M and smaller clothes to my skinny friends because I just do not have the desire to stress about getting back into them. I guess my focus is different now a days. My time is limited especially now that my son hardly naps anymore so I want to spend my free time digging deep into my Bible and not meal planning and doing work outs I guess?

I went to a dinner party with a group of ladies in their 20’s and 30’s and everyone was talking about what they WEREN’T going to eat at this thing, or how much weight they still needed to lose and guiltily taking a small brownie. I was just kinda blown away by that I guess? My attitude could be all wrong here but darnit I had my fruit and veggies and I’m gonna enjoy this brownie. When did we attach this guilt-ridden thought process to eating! I realize companies are putting tons of bad chemicals in our foods now, I realize that our life styles have gotten more sedentary as a culture I get all that. But man, give yourself some grace ladies! If you mess up your diet one day don’t condemn yourself and belittle yourself!!!! Have some self control, eat in moderation and exercise a bit. ​ Paul talks about self control in​ 1 Corinthians 9:25-27 25 Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26 Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. While this gives a great way for a competitor to train we aren’t working for earthly reward. We fight and press on for our eternal crown! Paul shows self control as to not be hypocritical. If he preached to other people without disciplining and controlling himself, then could be leading people astray. (honestly part of me felt unqualified to give this talk because I hadn’t been practicing good health habits myself, But God still uses the unqualified am I right 😊 😊 )

While we are giving ourselves grace we can also work on self control by paying attention to what we eat, by exercising to keep our bodies moving whatever that looks like for you. By establishing good healthy routines in our lives (this goes beyond just eating and exercise by making sure we add in time to rest, time to be in our Bibles daily, time to recharge)

I listened to Episode 93 of Allie Casazza's purpose show called Stop Overcomplicating Exercise. She said, "Stop reading all the books and watching your friend's Facebook weight change posts and making excuses like you’re too busy." Those people that get results are the ones not making excuses and the ones that just start something! Just move something every day. Try to simply stand instead of sitting at work or take a walk on your lunch break (my husband does this with a group of guys and they walk the parking lot)

Make healthier choices when eating whatever that looks like for your needs. It doesn’t have to always be counting steps and counting calories and points and boxes and bottles and whatever else. I made the choice to eat a bit less and a bit healthier and to do Zumba twice a week. That’s what I can do in this season. It has to be enough for now and I’m gonna be ok with that.

We’ve got a choice. I know I don’t have the personal drive to get down to a size 5 again, so I can sit and wallow in that and let Satan beat me down, or I can OWN my choices and believe that God loves me, and replace Satan’s lies with God’s truths!!!

There was a picture floating around Facebook that showed two men probably at least 50ish and one had a 6 pack and was tan and schnazzy haircut, the other showed a guy with a big belly and a balding head. The title read “same age different choices.” I’m definitely leaning toward bald head belly guy with my life choices. But that’s it, I KNOW that my choices are putting me there. So I’m owing them, and then giving myself some GRACE!!! If you’ve gained the weight back, if you’re still struggling with the post partum ups and downs or trying to get rid of the mom pooch, if you’re trying to figure out an eating situation that works best for your family, whatever it may be just give yourself the same grace that Jesus Christ extends to you every day!

A Facebook post from Proverbs 31 Ministries:

When you look in the mirror, what do you see?

Do you see physical imperfections or features that you don’t like about yourself? Maybe you see a wounded woman, with invisible scars from hurtful words and actions. Or maybe you can’t see past the mistakes you’ve made and all you see is a girl broken beyond repair...

We’re quick to see the worst in ourselves. We allow guilt and shame to creep into our minds, telling us we are too damaged to ever be loved by the God of the universe.

But, friend… that’s not how God sees us.

When God sees us, He sees what His son Jesus did for us on the cross.

Because of God’s great love for us and His gift of salvation, He sees us as…

... pure … blameless … redeemed … washed white as snow … forgiven … sons and daughters … the righteousness of Christ

Sister, God sees you as His beloved daughter.

Today, let’s choose to see ourselves the way God sees us.

I can look in the mirror and say ugh you look so fat and tired today. I can land there and let it ruin my day or I can say, "These marks are form my babies, my boobs are floppy because I nursed my son for 2 years and fed several babies with donated milk!" "I have a son who loves me and thinks my extra fluff is a great place to cuddle. I am chosen, redeemed, loved, created in God’s image. My HEART is full and my joy is full in Christ and that’s something Satan can never take from me." That’s not what the world sees as beauty but that’s what God sees as beauty. We’re not called to live in the world.

Colossians 3:2

2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

Philippians 4:8

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

These verses are just another reminder how we can change our thoughts from worldly labels to Godly truths!!!

As I began to transition here my friend asked if she could interrupt me for a second, and she wisely said, "Even if we were all the perfect size we'd always find something to compare. Something we don't like about ourselves that we want to change." It may not be our bodies, it could be comparing our home, our motherhood, our life (she works, she breastfed etc etc.) We will never find contentment and fulfillment anywhere but in Jesus Christ our savior!

During my preparing for this talk our women's ministry at church started going through the book Seated With Christ by Heather Holleman. I was reluctant to start another thing because I was already preparing for this, reading through Ephesians with my mom friends. My husband gently suggested it because I have been going to our current church for over a year and hadn't really plugged in. I got the book opened the first page and saw this verse and cried,

Ephesians 2:6

6 And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus.

I had read through Ephesians 2 over and over again preparing for this talk and do you think I noticed this "seated" verse at all, nope. God gave me this book so that I didn't miss the important part of the verse!

We are seated with Christ as soon as we believe. We each have our own seat at his table. We don't have to strive to earn it. We don't have to compare our lives to other women because God has works planned for them that only they can do, just as he has works planned for me that only I can do. Stop comparing and start leaning into God, let him show you the plans he has for you. Comparison is the thief of joy after all.

Heather shares her story of growing up trying to compare herself to everyone by being thin enough, pretty enough. She really had a hard time with her nose. She let herself agonize over that imperfection she thought she had. She explained her silly, involved routine of makeup and hair products and skin care routine etc etc and then said, " I thought about myself ALL DAY LONG. Not about Jesus but ME". She finally grew tired of being so self-absorbed and went searching through scripture and found David (yet again another book bringing me back to the story of David)

When David felt the most insecure he fixed his eyes on Jesus. In Psalm 27:4 it says David GAZED on the beauty of the Lord. He took his eyes off himself, and focused on the one who created him!

Heather says, " I turn my gaze and adore Jesus, and I'm not thinking about my nose. I worship Jesus and stop idolizing artificial notions of beauty."

She explained how she did an in-depth study on shame, and when we live in a state of that type of self-consciousness we believe that everyone is looking at us and evaluating us. We live in a state of self -evaluation all day long. (notice how many times SELF was used there) We are such a self-focused society. We feel we need to be "picture ready" at all times because someone might snap a photo of us and put it on Facebook!

She had someone tell her once she had a very LOVING face, that when this person saw her she could see God's love in her face. The same face with the "nose" she agonized over. That comment helped her change her thoughts from herself to others. How could she change and allow others to see Christ in her rather than just a pretty face.

Psalm 34:5 says, Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.

Psalm 45:11 says, Let the king be enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord.

Your beauty ENTHRALLS Jesus. Enthrall means to capture the fascinated attention of. Some similar words being: captivate, charm, enchant, fascinate, delight. Christ is fascinated, delighted, captivated by our beauty! The creation He made is good, and beautiful!

Radiant means sending out light; shining or glowing brightly. How can we be shameful when we are radiant lights for Jesus Christ!

When we begin to live loved like this God sends us people who are attracted to our faces that radiate for him. Heather shared that on her first date with her husband he told her his favorite feature was her cute nose. God is cool like that.

"I am no longer self-conscious as I whisper to Jesus, help me radiate Your love through my appearance".

She had a neighbor thank her one day for not being "trim and made up every day" because it made her approachable and real and authentic. Reading that made my heart soar because it's exactly what I've been drawn to lately in my life. She said, "You can't think about your mascara when you're fixated on God's beauty." When you think of creation and how amazingly intricate it is, stars in the sky, trees, water, clouds the human body and all its tiny parts and pieces. We are so beautiful because of Jesus!

I personally realized after my son was born how much time it took to put on makeup, and do my hair. I looked at my cabinet of expensive products that were supposed to make me look sexier and younger and were just taking up space. I then did a little research into more natural makeup options but that was even MORE expensive and trying to invest in something that may not even work was stressful.

So I just stopped wearing makeup. I decided that oils were great for perfume and that a simple face wash bar was going to be my skin care routine. Simplify and de-clutter has been my motto lately. This change came from a few factors.

My husband has always been someone who loves simple beauty so having his love in that made it an easy change. He’s happy if I just put on a dress once in awhile and he’s super glad my hair is long again 😊 I know not everyone’s husband is that chill, but remember that your worth does not come from what your husband or boyfriend thinks about you, it comes from what Jesus thinks about you. Do we respect and honor our husbands absolutely, I grew my hair out again because I knew my husband really liked it that way, but my worth does not come from his approval, it comes form my heavenly father’s. It also came from an inner confidence in Christ that I found first from watching my mom for many years.

She’s one of the most beautiful people I know and I can’t remember the last time she wore makeup or had long hair. She exercises to keep her body moving and to keep her diabetes in check but still shamelessly eats a piece of pie at dinner and you better believe with extra whip!

There was a picture posted of her on Facebook from the national day of prayer awhile back and it made me tear up looking at it. She sat next to a couple great young leaders of the Crew Youth Center both of whom she has poured her life into through cards, prayers, meals, service. I looked at that picture and thought my mom is the most beautiful person I know! Man, like that’s what I want. That’s where I want my beauty to lie! I want it to be through my love for God and my boldness for him.

My mom took us to church by herself most of my life because my step dad was not a believer. He recently gave his life to Christ at over 60 years old, and I know it’s at least in part to her faithfulness. Her pure and reverent demeanor. Your beauty should come from the INNER DISPOSITION of your heart. The UNFADING BEAUTY of a gentle and quiet spirit.

1 Peter 3:1-4

Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your husbands, so that even if they refuse to believe the word, they will be won over without words by the behavior of their wives when they see your pure and reverent demeanor.

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment such as braided hair or gold jewelry or fine clothes,but from the inner disposition of your heart, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in God’s sight.

Recently I’ve been drawn to beauty that is authentic. Some of the most beautifully adorned people in this world with the perfect bodies are so fake it’s ridiculous. Look at my perfect hair and nails and face, but let me hide my depression, failing marriage, insecurity behind all that.

Friends I’m drawn to these days are honest, they share truth even if it’s ugly and painful. They know how hard life is but they also know that they don’t do it alone because of Jesus. The more you’re gonna run after Jesus and be authentic that’s the beauty I want in my closest friends! Some of my friends are on Keto, some of them are vegan, some wear makeup some don’t, some are a size 5 and some are a size 20, some wear yoga pants some dress the 9’s none of us go to the same church! Do you know why we’re all still friends? Because we have found common UNITY in the love of Jesus Christ. Our souls and hearts are striving hard after our creator so who cares what’s going on on the outside! We could let Satan get in our heads and do the compare game, oh man she’s so skinny I could never eat like that, eh she’s not part of my ladies group at my church we can’t be friends. Don’t let him destroy your relationships like that!!

This world strives for perfection. The perfect body, perfect job, perfect house, perfectly behaved kids. The Bible tells us to strive for a different type of perfection which is becoming more like Christ.

Romans 12:1-2: - "I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."

Matthew 5:48 "Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

James 1:4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Philippians 3:12 "Not that I have already reached the goal or am already perfect, but I make every effort to take hold of it because I also have been taken hold of by Christ Jesus."

Instead of claiming to be perfect now, Paul continues to pursue becoming more like Christ. A Christ-like life is not a moment to achieve, but a goal to pursue. Paul knows he would never be perfect in this world, but instead made it his ambition to become increasingly like Christ in this life.

I Tim 4:8 For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.

Perfection in God’s eyes is being spiritually mature! not the perfect body or look but being mature in your faith!

There’s a fine line between exercising to be healthier and allowing it to become an idol in your life. Is all you talk about and think about your exercise schedule? Or what you’re eating or not eating? We spend so much time and money on this diet or that exercise DVD that we lose ourselves in the process.

We get so caught up making our body look good that we forget about our heart! We are by nature sinful and have the spiritual battle in our brain so often Satan will either beat us up making us think we aren’t good enough or the opposite of making an idol of whatever we think good about ourselves. Oh I’m so pretty, my hair is awesome. You can humbly think you look nice but when you flaunt it or begin to think you’re so in control of your body and forget the God who formed that body in your mother’s womb then it’s an idol in your life.

Have you been in your Bible as often as you’ve been to the gym, the nail salon this week? Are you letting the results you get from your work out, or the great temporary feeling you get from a new hair do or getting your nails done fill you up instead of allowing Christ to fill you up? Are you letting the numbers on the scale define your worth or the love of Jesus Christ in your heart!None of these things are inherently “wrong” but with the wrong motive behind it they can be a foothold for Satan to whisper his lies into our lives.

Our goal should be living a Godly life so others see Jesus through us.

Paul says in 1Thes 2:19 “For what is our hope or joy or crown of boasting before our Lord Jesus at his coming? Is it not you?” He’s talking about the members of the church! The body of believers!

Ephesians 4:11-13 So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers,12 to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up 13 until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

That’s our end game! To strive to become mature in our faith like Christ so others see that work in our life so they can also believe.

In closing I asked a few ladies in my inner circle when they felt most beautiful here’s some of their answers.

* I feel most beautiful when my 5 year old says it to me (because there’s no hidden agenda behind it, he just sees ME)

* I feel most beautiful when my eyes and heart are focused on Jesus

when my souls feels heavy or I focus too much on things of this world I feel like the ugly sink in

* When I’m very happy, laughing so hard with tears streaming down my face

* When my son grabs me by the face, kisses and hugs me, and tells me I’m the most beautiful girl in the world 💗 * I feel beautiful when I feel closest to God. A different kind of beauty, not based on appearance - it’s a beauty of the heart. When my intentions are pure and my heart is focused on him. That’s when I feel the most beautiful.

"The problem is that God has already given us a crown, but most of us are too insecure to put it on and actually wear it, so we tuck it away in the back of our closet with all the other junk and clutter and jeans that don’t fit anymore, afraid of what people will think instead of putting it on and absolutely owning it. We don’t want to be rejected by the world, but we sure don’t mind rejecting Him, or the abundant life He has called us to live. You are His. That’s what makes you beautiful. Why would you hide when He made you to shine? Wear your crown with boldness, girl." -Amy Weatherly

To the single or childless ladies. I talked a lot about beauty from motherhood perspective because that's where I'm at. And I omitted a few things that I just should have included because they're so important. YOU'RE important. Maybe you're the MOST important. Because you still have this beautiful gift of time not needing to be spent raising up a family. Please don't misunderstand. Children and marriage are amazing gifts from God. They're commanded by God in fact. But they're not the end all be all! They may be the most beautiful prize the world wants us to strive for. Find our worth in being taken by a man, find our worth in the amount of children we have. But it took losing a child for me to realize GOD HAS MORE for us than those roles should we choose to seek Him to find it.

I wouldn't have had the courage to stand before you at the party had I not had to give up my daughter (early loss, not sure she was indeed a girl but I feel it in my heart) Do you know what I wrote on my balloon? Touch the Sky. That's the name of my blog, it's also the name of the new purpose God has put inside me since losing her. Man, just reach HIGHER than you could possibly achieve yourself. Dream the biggest dreams that only YOU AND GOD can reach together. Cuz that's where it's at friends, that's where your true beauty and purpose are found.

"The highest aim of womanhood is not motherhood. the highest aim of womanhood is becoming conformed to the image of Christ" - Gloria Furman

If you're in a place of waiting, for marriage, for children. WAIT WITH JESUS. Let him romance you, love you while you wait. Some of my most beautiful times with Jesus were while I was waiting for my husband and I sometimes miss the ability to just BE with Christ without the business of running a family. If you're in that place CHERISH this time. It's a gift. <3 A husband does not complete you, children do not complete you. Jesus Christ completes you.

I was really struggling after a break up in college and "ran back" to an ex and he wrote this to me before telling me "goodbye" basically and it did indeed resonate with me. I feel like God wants me to share it with you ladies too.

"I want to step in and demand something, demand it with every bit of influence I can. I do not know you now, nor do I even know if you're worth saving , but if you are listen please. My demand? Don't give in. Don't become yet another mindless, moral-less woman who bides their time being a mediocre-at-best prize for the man she finally finds. Be the girl that BAFFLES EVERYONE AROUND HER. the one who the women say, "Why hasn't she married yet?" And the one husbands secretly wonder "could I have had that quality of a woman?" I have seen far to many of the far-too-few quality women fall because of their weakness. I just want to stop another blasphemous downfall of someone who may be worth it. You may experience the worst moments in your life, but don't be another girl you pass at the mall, there are too many of those."

That right there made me stand up and keep going when I felt worthless!!! Ladies if you're just not feeling beautiful, if you're not feeling worthy of the ALREADY promises Christ has for you just know YOU ARE WORTH IT!